Family mediation helps divorcing parents find consensus and conclude agreements based on the child's interests. Family mediation is a service that offers parents impartial support in creating a new living arrangement. In the course of family mediation, the parents' negotiations are mediated and they are helped to find solutions that take into account the interests of the children and to reach an agreement on a peaceful future arrangement. The purpose of family mediation is not to make the parents reconcile in their relationship, but to reach an agreement with each other.

The family mediator offers parents impartial support in creating a new living arrangement. Thus, it helps to resolve possible differences between parents out of court and for parents to remain supportive parents even after divorce.

How to obtain family mediation?

Family mediation is a voluntary service for parents. Parents usually reach the service in two ways: at their own request, by submitting an application themselves, or by referral from the court. If the parents want to go to family mediation on their own, they must first apply to the Social Insurance Board to receive the service. The application can be completed in the self-service environment of the Social Insurance Board or you can download the application form from the website, fill it out on your computer and send it to [email protected]. If there is no possibility to use a computer, the request can also be submitted at the customer service point. The application must be sent by both parents separately.

Once the application has been sent, the coordinator of the chief Specialist of the Social Insurance Board assesses whether the service is suitable for the parents. The coordinator then issues a referral decision to the service and assigns you a family mediator. If there is a definite preference for a family mediator, this can be written in the application.

What will happen in family mediation?

Once the application has been made and you have been referred to the service, you can make an appointment for the first meeting with the mediator. Then start meetings with the family mediator. One meeting lasts 90 minutes and, on average, you will meet the family mediator 5 times. However, each story is different, and the final number of meetings depends on what is necessary in a particular case.

In cooperation with the parents, the topics to be discussed are identified and the family mediation process is jointly planned. The family mediator also meets with the child to find out the child's opinion and thoughts. You can get more information about meeting with a child here in the leaflet on involving a child.

When going to the first meeting, you don't need any other preparation than a calm mind and a desire to really try to reach an agreement for the sake of the child.

You can get more information about the nature of family mediation and the different steps and stages of family mediation from the leaflet ABC of Family Mediation.

The state-funded family mediation service can be applied for by each parent whose residence and whose child's residence is in Estonia. A parent makes an application for family mediation service, which is reviewed by the coordinator of the Social Insurance Board, who makes a decision on referring the parents to the service. You can find the most accurate information about applying for the service from the family mediation website. Both parents must submit an application. The court can also refer to the service if the parents have appealed to the court, but issues can also be resolved in family mediation.

The place of residence of the child and the procedure for communicating with the child
When the cohabitation of the parents ends, the child still has the right to communicate with both parents, and both parents have the right and obligation to communicate with the child. The parent must refrain from activities that harm the child's relationship with the other parent or make it difficult to raise the child. Therefore, after the end of the parents' cohabitation, it is necessary to agree where the child will live and what times the child can communicate with one and the other parent.

Questions of provision
The parent who does not live with the child must also contribute to the providing for the child. With the help of a mediator, parents map out the child's needs. When discussing providing for the child, including child support and its payment, the parents must first discuss the child's developmental needs (separately for each child) and related expenses. Then it must be decided how these expenses will be covered.
The obligation to provide can be fulfilled both paying monthly child support as well sharing the expenses related to the maintenance of the child. According to the Family Law Act, obligation to provide is generally granted by paying child support, but obligation to provide can also be granted in other ways for a good reason, e.g. direct maintenance when interacting with the child, current coverage of expenses. It is possible to agree on providing maintenance in another way, but such a parenting agreement is not an official enforcement document in such a case, which could be used to enforce the agreements if necessary.
Parents can use to calculate the amount of child support the child support calculator that is, a tool that helps parents reach an agreement on the minimum child support to be paid.

Termination or modification of joint custody
The parent's right of custody includes the right to take care of the child's person (personal care) and the right to take care of the child's property (property care) and to decide matters related to the child.
The family mediation service can also resolve custody issues, i.e agree on terminating or changing joint custody. This gives parents the opportunity to find a unanimous and child-friendly solution to custody issues. In matters of change of custody rights, you must first contact the court, after which the court will refer the parents to the family mediation service. In addition, it is possible to do one-time agreements such as giving decision-making rights to one of the parents, e.g. in educational matters (choice of school) or health matters (choice of family doctor), etc.

Other important agreements for parents and child
In addition, any child-related arrangements that the parents deem necessary can be made with the family mediator. For example, to agree on matters of hobby education, matters of traveling with the child, the child's daily schedule, the way the parents communicate with each other, the family values that are the basis of the child's upbringing and what to pass on to the child, or the parents' mutual communication and obligation to inform.
The process is carried out by a family mediator, that is, an impartial third party who supports and assists the parents, encouraging them to express their views on both personal and common interests.
The purpose of family mediation is not to make the parents reconcile in their relationship, but to reach an agreement with each other.! The focus is on the current situation and better prospects for the future.

State-funded family mediation is a free of charge for parents.

Family mediation helps parents in case of separation to focus primarily on the child's interests. In the case of disputes concerning the child, it is extremely important to resolve disagreements as quickly and peacefully as possible, because this is best for the well-being of the child. In this way, the continuation of a stable living arrangement is ensured as smoothly as possible.

When the parents arrive the agreement voluntarily, it is more permanent and effective. Voluntary agreements are more likely to reach a solution that both parties will stick to.

In addition, family mediation is an affordable (for free) and quick alternative to court, allowing to reach settlements out of court. If the court process can turn out to be long-term, expensive and exhausting for all parties, family mediation allows the result to be achieved more economically for all parties, and the solution is also more effective.

Children can be involved in the family mediation process. It gives the child the feeling that he or she is important in this process and also helps the child understand that he or she is not to blame for the parents' divorce.

Family mediation is confidential, neutral and impartial because negotiations between the parents are mediated by a family mediator as a third party.

The parenting plan concluded as a result of family reconciliation has a legal connotation. It means that it is an enforcement document that either parent can use to submit to the bailiff in case the other parent does not maliciously execute it.

Children can be involved in the process depending on the child's age and level of development.
The family mediator also listens to the child and takes the child’s opinion into account according to the child's age and level of development. Read more from the Child Involvement Brochure.