Various traditions and customs may accompany a funeral. For example, the use of the colours of mourning can be important. Some people may wish to place a a flower bouquet on the grave or light a memorial candle. Such elements depend on the wishes and beliefs of the deceased and their loved ones.

Decide whether you want the body of the deceased to be buried or cremated. This is an important decision and may depend on the wishes, cultural practices and religious beliefs of the deceased.

To arrange a church funeral, you must contact a congregation. A church funeral is a religious service, which is directed primarily towards the loved ones of the deceased. For a funeral service, it usually does not matter, whether the deceased was baptised or not. If mourners wish to send off their loved one in a church service, it is appropriate to do so. Unless the deceased has expressed their own will regarding the funeral service, the rule is that a baptised person should receive a church funeral.

Who can perform a burial?

The funeral service may be performed by a cleric or a layperson authorised by a congregation. In case of doubt about whether the person performing the burial has the authority of the church, you should ask the local congregation. Laypeople who perform church funerals without the authority of the congregation are not legitimate — even if they use church burial arrangements.

How and where should someone be buried?

A church funeral may be in one or several parts. In the case of a multi-part funeral, the funeral service may begin at the home of the deceased or other suitable location, followed by the religious service in the church and the burial in the cemetery. There may also be a prayer before the funeral and the ceremony of placing the body in the coffin, and a wake after the burial.

It is possible to make changes to the music and structure of the funeral service to suit the wishes of loved ones. Prior to the funeral service, a meeting is held with the officiating clergy, with whom the music to be played at the funeral service is agreed upon, and the life story of the deceased and its significance to their loved ones is discussed. An agreement is also reached on how photographs will be taken at the funeral service, how people will move around in processions, and if and when the coffin will be opened.

The deceased is buried in an officially registered cemetery. While choosing a location for burial, it is good to take into account, whether the loved ones of the deceased will be able to visit and care for the grave.

Application for and granting use of a new burial plot

Burial plots are allocated and granted according to the place of residence registered in the population register:

• For the burial of a deceased, whose registered place of residence was in the locality at the time of death
• For the burial of deceased relatives of a person, whose registered place of residence is in the locality.

To obtain a new burial plot, please contact the representative of the cemetery nearest to the place of residence of the deceased or a person organising the burial.

Right to use a burial plot

To perform a burial, the person who registers the funeral must have the right to use the burial plot. Please contact the representative of the cemetery.

Obtaining the right to use an existing burial plot

If there is a burial plot in the cemetery, but the right to use it has not been formalised, an application must be submitted to the representative of the cemetery. The person who registers the funeral must also apply for the right to use the burial plot if it belonged to the deceased. To obtain the right to use an existing burial plot, the consent of the deceased’s relatives is required. If the cemetery has joined the Estonian Cemetery Portal, the application can be submitted to the Cemetery Portal of Estonia, Tartu Kalmistud information system in the city of Tartu, or to the cemetery representative.

If the burial plot is selected, you have to make an agreement with the cemetery watchman or representative to use the burial plot. You also need an agreement with the cemetery to bury the urn. To book a burial plot, contact the cemetery watchman or representative. Each cemetery may have its own rules and regulations about burial arrangements. The cemetery representative can explain to you in more detail what the rules are for a particular cemetery. Please contact the cemetery representative also for information on the grave-digging service. The contact details of the cemetery watchman or representative can usually be found on the cemetery’s website or on the website of the local municipality on whose territory the cemetery is located.

Plan the date and time of the funeral and choose a suitable chapel, church or other venue, agreeing it with the owner or manager of the venue. The farewell ceremony may involve inviting family members, friends and acquaintances, choosing flowers and other symbols, arranging music, arranging a church service, etc.

It is customary to hold a wake in memory of the deceased, usually it takes place after the burial in the cemetery.

During the wake, the deceased will be remembered and honoured, and memories of the deceased will be shared. It's an important mourning ritual that helps loved ones of the deceased remember the deceased and cope with the grieving process. It is also an opportunity to share your grief and support each other.

The wake - traditionally, the wake is a place where food is eaten, and the deceased’s life is discussed and remembered. An empty place is set at the table for the deceased, with a plate, glass, cutlery and a white candle. Nowadays, the arrangements of the wake has become more flexible and personal, tailored to meet the wishes of the deceased.

What to think about when organising a wake

• Budget: When planning a wake, keep your budget in mind (number of guests to be invited, food and drink etc.). Make arrangements (e.g. venue rental, catering) in writing, if possible.
• Participants: Think about who was important to the deceased. Invite people who were close to them.
• Time and place: Set the time and place. The wake can take place at home, in a restaurant or outdoors.
• Food and drink: Food can be traditional or modern.
• What to do: During the wake, you can play music, tell stories or watch photos/videos.
• Time frame: Finish the wake in a timely manner. The day of the funeral is exhausting for everyone, so it’s important to finish the wake within a reasonable time.

If you want the deceased to be dressed and made up for the burial or cremation, you need to arrange this with the service provider, a funeral home/crematorium can help you.

Arrange all the necessary paperwork concerning burial permits, the funeral benefit and other formalities. The funeral home can help with the preparation of these documents.

Think about how much you are prepared to spend on funeral arrangements and consult a funeral home or crematorium to get a quote and set a budget.

Let the family and friends of the deceased know the time and place of the funeral and invite them to attend.

The notice of the sending off may be published in a (local) newspaper, if you wish. The message usually starts with ‘It is with sadness that we inform you of the passing “[name (maiden name), date of birth and death]“. This is followed by information about the funeral (e.g. ‘The funeral will take place on xx.xx.xxxx at xx.xx, at ... cemetery‘). If it has been agreed among loved ones, it can be specified as ‘Family only / Please do not bring a wreath’ or something similar.

If a person dies in a nursing home or hospital

In this case, the body will be taken to a nearby cold storage. It may be that the cold storage at the hospital has been contracted out to a funeral home. It is important to know that there is a storage fee for keeping the body in cold storage after a certain period of time. Please contact the cold storage manager for the cost of a specific cold storage service.

If the cold storage is run by a funeral home

In this case, you may wish to use the services of the funeral home which manages the cold storage for the funeral, but you can choose another funeral home by making arrangements for the transfer of the deceased. For more information on the terms and conditions of the transfer and possible fees, please contact the funeral director who manages the cold storage.